What they don't tell you about the deal: being sick

We all get sick sometimes. Annoying little colds, irritating headaches that can come out of nowhere, or sometimes something as simple as a random injury or sunburn. Except for BGRR. Whose bouts of sickness don't really even qualify as such since they last less than 24 hrs a piece and occur every fifth friday on a leap month when there's a waxing moon in the sky. You know, that sort of deal. I hate him, it's all okay, moving on with my life... jealous? Nah, not me.

Saturday night I was supposed to be enjoying a dance at the last field reenactment of the year, except I was in the middle of dying an excruciatingly painful death consisting of sore/swollen throat, runny nose, sneezes that really weren't sneezes and the general achiness of the flu. Now, the fact that it's about -600 below zero outside - by which I really mean about 45 degrees - isn't helping things. So I toddle back towards camp from the dance, feeling absolutely miserable, and proceed to call my better half. Who, ironically enough, is also horribly sick with something of a stomach virus. The kicker: this would be the third time this week he's been sick. Dear goodness, he IS human! And despite the fact that I feel like icky brown squishy mud (the kind that attacks dresses mercilessly after a rainstorm), the most insistant thought in my mind is driving up there immediately to take care of him. Thankfully, this idea is quashed silently since he'd prolly kick my butt for even thinking it.

Anyways, the whole idea behind this was to be thoughtful of the other person's feelings...you know...if you majorly change plans, just give them a heads up sort of bit. Just something small to let them know you care about them. Which is pretty much why the conversation can be reduced to the following interaction....

"Be careful driving home okay, love?"
"Yes, dear, I can text you when I get home if you'd like?"
"Please?"
"Sure...and I'll even promise not to keel over."
"Good, because you know what happens if you do, right?"
"Yes, yes. You'll bring me back to life, and then kill me for dying on you."
"Exactly. And the second time, I'm going to make sure it's a long, drawn out, excruciatingly painful process."
"Okay, but make sure it's extra painful. Don't want people to think you're getting soft on me now"
"Of course not!"

Being sick is serious business in this relationship. If you do become sick, understand that it's completely at your own risk. In multiple senses of the word.